Illustration for article titled You Dont Know The Struggle: Dancing With Myself

It really isn't fair. Women get all the credit when it comes to being nutty about their weight. Us dudes? Not so much.

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I weigh in on Sundays. Sunday mornings, to be exact. The only problem is that, more often than not, I go out and get wiggly with my chums and/or lady on Saturday night. This means alcohol. Food. And copious amounts of water.

People are always wondering how you cure a hangover. Take it from the guy who has only ever experienced the terror of the hangover once in his life. The key is to drink tons of water while you're getting wiggly with your boys (and girls). You'll still feel that delightful drunky-buzz, but at the same time, you won't have any of the messiness that comes from all that drinking. Anyways, that's what's worked for me.

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Well, onto the "fat guy getting on the scale"-portion of the blog.

I got on the following Sunday morning, waking up late, around 11 or so. I showered, then stood on the scale. I had gained two pounds.

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I flew into a minor internal frenzy. I decided that it was a mistake to have eaten dinner three hours before going to the bar, even though I had the calories for it. The dumb jumping jacks I did before showering and heading out for the night did nothing! It was those two hot dogs' fault!

Well, I beat myself up all day, but ate responsibly, going out to lunch with my girl and doing some clothes shopping. That night, I ventured to a buddy's condo to smoke a cigar, drink some wine and watch The Walking Dead (our usual Sunday routine). We discussed my adding two pounds, to which he replied (matter-of-factly): "Water weight."

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Somewhat surprised, I asked "What do you mean? I thought the first week is typically water-related weight?"

"Nah, bro. You drank a shit-ton of water last night, remember? At least a dozen glasses. You were pounding it. There's no way those two pounds aren't only water. You were dancing. Sweating. You were re-hydrating."

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I danced?

So, I had an uptick in pounds. This was expected. I saw this coming. That's totally fine. I can live with a two pound uptick. The important thing was that I ate really well on Sunday and clocked in with around a thousand calories remaining on MyFitnessPal. I like that. I certainly didn't starve.

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Onward and upward.

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