So this week was my birthday, so of course that means I gained weight due to copious alcohol intake, as well as delightful sweet treats. This wasn't particularly unexpected, however; I gained four pounds, which is the equivalent of a sizable bowel movement, so I'm not super concerned about it. I promised I'd be candid with you, dear reader, so, poop-talk is as candid as possible.

I had easily the best birthday of my entire life on Friday night, thanks to my awesome girlfriend and my buddy, who partnered to deliver a championship-level surprise party for the ages.

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Illustration for article titled You Dont Know The Struggle: Were All In Carcosa Now

You only turn 30 once.

I imagine my weight gain would have been significantly higher had I not at least attempted to monitor my food intake the entire time. While I ignored the amount of boozing I did (as a Gawker commenter pointed out, I shouldn't "drink" my calories, and they're right), I did monitor food intake for the most part.

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Suffice to say, it's Monday, and I'm back on the horse. With four pounds to lose, which I can do, without difficulty.

I'm going to be reintroducing stationary bike-riding this week, as well, so, hopefully that'll stimulate things a bit more.

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